2011 Recap - It was such a crazy ride. I think out of all the years..so far..2011 has been the best.

- Senior year started. I was so excited to get good grades, get out of Cerritos and start college. I was so eager in wanting to have my freedom. Along the way I met some great people. They were not only there for me, but they certainly helped me pull through senior year and it went by faster than I could imagine. I can’t put all the pictures in here because there is a limit, but senior year was the most chillest year. I lost some friends, became close to some, and kept most of the good friends.

-June… graduation came, and I got to be next to my two good friends Michelle and Patrick and got to celebrate my last days of high school year together. After graduation, I’m more than excited to start FIDM, my dream fashion school. But before that, in July I went on another crazy summer vacationjourney on a Cruise to the Caribbeans with the bestest family friends! They’ve become more than just family friends, but basically families to me now. It was fun going to the Bahamas, San Juan, Puerto Rico and Grand Turk with you fun and wild people haha. After, I took another trip with my mom and her friend up to Vancouver, Canada. I loved it there. The air was fresh and everything just seemed so nice and calm. I would totally live there.

-October, college started. It was mad busy with so much group projects and homework to do. But thats what I wanted. To have a taste of what college was like. I’m happy I made so many new friends there and everyone was just so nice.

- November & December, I FINALLY met my long time celebrity crush Booboo Stewart. It was THEEE most happiest day of my life…literally. I will never forget that day. Towards the beginning of December, some friends I met at FIDM invited me to their birthday party. I had fun even though I was there for a short period of time. I love my new friends, they're all so nice! And hanging out with Jessica too. It was an adventurous day even though most of our plans failed LOL.

A lot has happened throughout this year and I am happy at where I am now and where I will be in the future. Expect big plans, and big things to happen. And make 2012 my bestest year.

Almost A New Year

Wow, its been months since I wrote on this blogspot. I guess I'm just occupied with the start of college and managing my time wisely. I never really had the time to sit down and update my blog spot but here I go! Its crazy how fast time is passing by. It's almost as if yesterday, I'm sitting down at my high school graduation, waiting for the fireworks to set off, letting us know that its finally over, we made it. I couldn't wait to get out of there and begin college. Now that I'm here, I find that I'm happier than ever. I found the place where I felt like I finally belong. Surrounded by people who not only share the same interest as me, but the same dreams and goals.

Being in L.A, it gave me a lot of good experiences. I always dreamed to see how movies were filmed and of course, I end up passing by movie sets everyday knowing that I'm seeing whats to become a good movie coming out in theaters. Also, I experienced the crazy stressful times of college, and call me crazy but I actually liked it because it made me feel like I've grown. I love the friends that I've met, whether we are close or not, everyone is just so nice and friendly. Haha met some gay friends too, and they are just the most nicest people in the world.

This year has just been such a ride. It's crazy. There's so much more to say about whats been going on but I just can't wait to see what's in store for next year.

Carnival Cruise

I don't know how many times I'm going to say this but, I miss the cruise. Not only the cruise itself, but the people. I learned and actually changed so much within that one week. From all the laughs, stupid jokes, insiders, staying up till almost 4am because we don't want to sleep, hanging out on deck 5 in front of the club, playing man hunt, watching movies outside, eating unlimited buffet and ice cream, getting sun burned, making fun of each other.....the list goes on and on. It WAS actually the good life. Within that week, all of us became so much closer. Coming up with stupid nicknames for each other hahaha. How did we even get from peanut to titties to puke master 3000? Oh, the things we do. Even though its been almost a month, it seems so much longer than that. I love the fact that we're so close, we actually made a private facebook group for just us HAHAH. I mean...who does that right?! Also, I'm just thankful for the fact that we keep in touch almost everyday, even though I know that our time zones are different. I also loved how when we came back from the cruise, all of us didn't want to talk to any of our friends, but only all of us as a group. I think I still feel the same, although, yes of course I talk to my friends hahah. Theres so much I can say but, I'm looking foward to our trip in 2 years. LOL roadtrip bitchesss HAHAH. <3

I'm in need.

Lately, I find that I'm back to square one again. Back to where I started. I'm constantly calling and searching for someone to talk to, but I usually get no respond back or the usual, "hey, lemme call you back yeah?" No, I have no problem with it, and I'm not going to sit here and complain, because I, myself has said that to other people, and its only fair that I get it in return...I guess. If we were to tell the truth, and let the truth out, I guess tonight is the night. I can no longer hold it in anymore and its killing me. No its not family problems, not friend problems, well maybe just a little. Now I guess it leads to guy problems. Ahh, yes the typical "guy situation." I remember I once told myself that I'm just going to do my thing, its summer, why should I let it bother me? Well feelings are feelings, it just happens and theres no telling yourself you can't like someone, it just happens you know.

"Babe, I just wanted to ask you....are you being for reals? Like I mean you're not just saying this just coz I'm saying it right?"

"Yeah of course babe, I'm being for reals.

Those words, I took those words into account and let myself go, let my guard down. I knew that I'm someone who tends to over think, over analyze stuff, I know that by keeping it to myself will save the trouble, for our upcoming "thing" that we had. I was really happy, I never been any happier. I never once felt this happy before. There are a lot of things I feel for you that I don't feel for anyone else. Why? I have no clue. I just fell for you, and I guess I fell hard. I had so much thoughts in my head of how summer would be like, of how even though we don't get to see each other as much, we would be like how we were before. Webcamming till 1am in the morning. Talking, sleeping on the phone still the sun rises. What...happened? I used to get good morning text from you. Text in the middle of the day to say what are you up to and those typical things. Now, its more like a good morning text, and thats it. Haha, whats even better, I don't get to hear from you all day. Not even a good morning text reply, then when its night time, you go , "Hey babe (: " Like nothing is even wrong. And its true, nothing is wrong. But now I see you care less than you used to. I hear this everyday,

" Sorry babe, I left my phone somewhere" " oh sorry I left it in the kitchen" "sorry its in my car"

Alright. I mean I didn't mind really. But the fact that I don't hear from you all day, and to add on to it, you've been supposedly "so tired" I just got tired of talking to you. I just don't know what to say sometimes. You asked me, "Are you okay? Is something wrong?" I thought you knew. I guess not. I constantly just tell you that you should just go, because I didn't want to talk to you. I know I've said this many times before but, please, tell me that I'm just over thinking. Tell me that everythings still the same. I wish you can see how badly I wanted this. I try to be like everything is okay...but its not. But you know what. Talk to me when you're ready to talk. I'm not going to sit here and be sad about it. I just wish you could see how much trouble I went through just to get you something, because I thought it would be something nice I'd do for you. I don't feel like you want this as much as I do. I don't feel like you're on the same page as me. I might just go away for awhile..No I am not emotional. I just need reassurance thats all.

Senior Prom

After much complaints about why I’m not being asked to prom, I came down to an answer.

“Man, why am I not being asked to prom and everyone else is? =/”

“well, no duh Joann, you have a boyfriend. Thats why no one asked you.”

“Huh? But I don’t have a boyfriend.”

I really don’t. I may be talking to someone at the moment, but I’m just being honest, we’re not officially together. And plus he’s not able to go thats why I’ve been struggling to look for a prom date. I don’t know how people find out these things but they do, and they did. Thats why I’ve decided not to go to prom this year. Anyways I can’t because I’ve got no date to go with. I’m just thinking positive, its pretty expensive, and all of that. But its okay, I went last year my junior year anyways, even though it didn’t turn out that well, I still had the chance to go.

“But Joann its your senior year! GO!”

Its pretty sad to hear those words, but unfortunately its not going to happen. But theres always grandnite at Disneyland I guess…No senior prom for me. =/

Where'd you go?

Happiness. I’m trying to find you left to right, up and down. But..where are you? I used to have you in the palm of my hands and I promised I would never let you go but, you slipped away like the sand running through my fingers. I try to grasp you by the finger tips but life just won’t let me. I once had you. I once owned you. But you ran away like a scared rabbit being chased by a human being… if that made sense. When I had you, you brought so many great things in my life and made the bad ones go away. I try to find you but your hiding from me. Maybe your hiding till the day that I deserve to be happy but I need you now. Now more than ever because everything around me is bringing me down. I try to find you through love but you weren’t fully there. I try to find you through friendship and you only showed up half the time, and now, you’re gone…again. Happiness. Tell me where are you?

Appreciation

Why is it that it takes one to pass away for others to realize the point where they need to, "cherish what they got, and others around you before they're gone?" I think this should be an everyday type of thing. It should be something that everyone feels everyday. For someone to appreciate what they have, what they've got, and what is yet to come. You should already feel like your cherishing every moment like its the last. You should already acknowledge the people around you and never forget why they're there. But why does it take one to pass away to realize that this is a "wake up call"? I mean yes, sometimes we're so busy with life that we hardly even take the time out to realize how much we have in our lives that we never really appreciate it for being there, or never seen how great life really is, and when reality hits, and that someone you love or someone close to you has passed away or has gone,walked out of your life, that's when you start being real, start to realize that you should be thankful for what you already got and you should of appreciated what you had before it was too late. Don't sit there and say, "you don't know what you've got till its gone." Its more like you know what you got, you just don't realize how important they we're until they're gone...you know? I don't know its something to think about I guess.