I'm in need.

Lately, I find that I'm back to square one again. Back to where I started. I'm constantly calling and searching for someone to talk to, but I usually get no respond back or the usual, "hey, lemme call you back yeah?" No, I have no problem with it, and I'm not going to sit here and complain, because I, myself has said that to other people, and its only fair that I get it in return...I guess. If we were to tell the truth, and let the truth out, I guess tonight is the night. I can no longer hold it in anymore and its killing me. No its not family problems, not friend problems, well maybe just a little. Now I guess it leads to guy problems. Ahh, yes the typical "guy situation." I remember I once told myself that I'm just going to do my thing, its summer, why should I let it bother me? Well feelings are feelings, it just happens and theres no telling yourself you can't like someone, it just happens you know.

"Babe, I just wanted to ask you....are you being for reals? Like I mean you're not just saying this just coz I'm saying it right?"

"Yeah of course babe, I'm being for reals.

Those words, I took those words into account and let myself go, let my guard down. I knew that I'm someone who tends to over think, over analyze stuff, I know that by keeping it to myself will save the trouble, for our upcoming "thing" that we had. I was really happy, I never been any happier. I never once felt this happy before. There are a lot of things I feel for you that I don't feel for anyone else. Why? I have no clue. I just fell for you, and I guess I fell hard. I had so much thoughts in my head of how summer would be like, of how even though we don't get to see each other as much, we would be like how we were before. Webcamming till 1am in the morning. Talking, sleeping on the phone still the sun rises. What...happened? I used to get good morning text from you. Text in the middle of the day to say what are you up to and those typical things. Now, its more like a good morning text, and thats it. Haha, whats even better, I don't get to hear from you all day. Not even a good morning text reply, then when its night time, you go , "Hey babe (: " Like nothing is even wrong. And its true, nothing is wrong. But now I see you care less than you used to. I hear this everyday,

" Sorry babe, I left my phone somewhere" " oh sorry I left it in the kitchen" "sorry its in my car"

Alright. I mean I didn't mind really. But the fact that I don't hear from you all day, and to add on to it, you've been supposedly "so tired" I just got tired of talking to you. I just don't know what to say sometimes. You asked me, "Are you okay? Is something wrong?" I thought you knew. I guess not. I constantly just tell you that you should just go, because I didn't want to talk to you. I know I've said this many times before but, please, tell me that I'm just over thinking. Tell me that everythings still the same. I wish you can see how badly I wanted this. I try to be like everything is okay...but its not. But you know what. Talk to me when you're ready to talk. I'm not going to sit here and be sad about it. I just wish you could see how much trouble I went through just to get you something, because I thought it would be something nice I'd do for you. I don't feel like you want this as much as I do. I don't feel like you're on the same page as me. I might just go away for awhile..No I am not emotional. I just need reassurance thats all.